Mercedes Coconut

​Finito! I say to myself, as I wipe the drops of water from the windshield.

The only way cousin kiz made the Mercedes available, was when I washed it.
Sound from my stomach interrupts my excitement.
I need to get food, so I flee from this punishment.
With the speed of light, I fetch the keys.
My whole world looking like a hive, so “busy”.
Though my legs could have taken me,
the assistance of four tyres is all I wanted.
30 metres away from the food court, I see how beautiful the bread had been sorted.
The sight of this pyramid of flour, keeps the hungry voice of an infant within me, aborted.
Standing next to the Bread,
I see my one and only gem, waiting for her anointing of bread and egg.
I quickly drive towards her.
Let me keep my windows up
She will think I had the Air conditioner on.
I park my Mercedes, sorry I mean my cousin’s Mercedes-Benz
Right in front of the vendor.
I quickly get the window down before I start sweating.

“Can I get 2 loaves of …”

Kube is that you?

“Oh irene”
“Didn’t see you”

I did not know you drive

“Oh yeah this is my Mercedes coconut”
“You know I am humble”
“I don’t want the whole world to know I have a Mercedes, or I have a lot of money, or my 3 mansions, not even the millions in my account”.
“I am down to earth, my first crush was even called Sandy”.

Kube will you be around this evening?
I want to discuss an issue with you.

Is it just me or Irene wants to come visit me?
OMG, the wonders a Mercedes can do.

“Sure sure”

I quickly answered, as she took her bread from the vendor.

I will see you later

Smiles all over my face, as I sat in the car.
Thoughts of this evening, strolling in my mind as I drove home.
I enter my room, just to realise I left without buying my bread.
Forget food, man shall not live by bread alone

Kube! Kube! Kube!

That must be cousin Kiz calling me.

“Yo kiz”

Kube, there is a problem with the car.
Please leave it parked, till I get the mechanic to look at it.

“Sure sure”

I proceed to cleaning the room, knowing I will get a visitor soon.
A knock at the door, that must be her.
It actually is, I let her in.

“Can I get you anything”

I am okay.
Thank you Kube


Kube, will you be busy this Saturday?

No, I answered with alacrity.

‘Cause my grandparents wanted to see the man after my heart and I …

“Oh okay okay, fine”

I cut her sentence short.

Kube let me finish.

“No no don’t stress, I will make it”

Can you bring the car?
Yeah and wear a suit too.

“Don’t worry, my Mercedes coconut will be ever ready”

Okay, if you say so.

Thank you very much
“Thank me? I super thank you”

Jumping to the heavens as Irene left.
Wait a minute, Cousin kiz said the car had a problem.
I don’t care.
This is a delicate matter of the heart
I start to iron my clothes,before things fall apart .
The days move slowly, as I count down to Saturday.
Saturday eventually arrives like dart
Staring me in the face, waiting for me to play my part.
I rehearsed over a million times.
My first impression needs to be spot on.
30 mins after cousin kiz leaves, I grab the keys.
En route Irene’s house.
I get there only to see her, looking as beautiful as always.

“I bought a hamper for you”

Thank you so much

“Are you ready”

No I have to help John, he snapped his ankle

“Wait, I am confused”

Kube, I told you my grandparents want to see John, so I need someone to drive us there, since he can’t drive.
“Ah Irene”

Yes Kube

“Don’t Kube me”
“Bring my hamper, nonsense”.

*John limps to the front door*

Hello Kube, thanks for agreeing to .
I shoot a fierce glance at him, as I cut him.

“Agree to what”
“You will hop to your destination

I walk back to the car, holding the hamper
I start the car, and my Mercedes coconut refuses to start.
I should have listened to Cousin kiz.
I say the lord’s prayer in tears, take a deep breath, then I try again.
It refuses to start.
There is no other way, I have to do this, like the noble man I am.
I step out of the car, shoulder high , chin up walking to Irene.

If it is an apology you are giving, I won’t take it.

“Ah Irene, what apology”
I want 5 cedis for taxi.

*irene opens her eyes in shock*


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